ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
