Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize