She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
