I accidentally burped into my bong.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
