So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
