Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
