just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Pants are for mortals
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
