The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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