i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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