Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
