just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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