If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
