I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
