I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Everything about him screamed your future.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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