dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
