I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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