I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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