dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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