I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
