You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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