I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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