Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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