We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
