She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
