Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
