Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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