So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
