Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she smelled like a LAN party
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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