i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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