I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
