Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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