This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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