walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
