I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
