So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
