He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
