id be glad to
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
