why didn't you poke me back
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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