I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
