11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
