We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
