hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
