508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
