So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This gyro tastes like lonliness
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
