Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
