yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
