How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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