So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
