Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
