If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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