fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
